Bababa ba?

Last Tuesday was UProject’s orientation seminar.

They talked about “Lightbulb Moments.”

I’ve quite a few, actually. But yeah, it took me quite a while to come out.

When I was in my early years in high school, I had this mindset that I had to get in a money-making course for college. ‘Twas either ME in Ateneo, and BAA in UP. These were my first choice college courses.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get in my first choice course in UP. I ended up in my second choice: Stat. My father told me that it was another money-making course which can be better than accounting since I could end up doing actuarial work (actuary = big bucks).

To be honest with you guys, after only 9 units of studying the subject, I found it HELLISH. Yeah, I aced a couple of long exams, but, in the end do you think that would matter? I wasn’t enjoying the course. Period.

When we were freshies, faculty and students from Stat tried brainwashing us into staying in Stat. They presented numerous career opportunities in the field, most of them money-making jobs. Heck, they even brought us to ADB to show us that there is indeed money in Stat (in the end the speaker told us not to study with the mindset that you’ll eventually be ending up in ADB).

Since I was lost in the fantasy of earning big bucks in the future, I tried to hold on to the course. My parents were expecting me to be earning a lot of money in the future in the said field (finish Stat here, study abroad, come home and work in a big company, bring home big bucks). I wasn’t to let them down. I also wasn’t to let my friends down as they were expecting that we would all be graduating together (hi RHP! Hahaha).

But in the end, the promise of a lot of money didn’t really much appeal to me.

A passion that was developed in the latter years of my highschool life did.

Physics.

I was good in it, and I have the grades to prove it (now where did I put my report card).

But I wasn’t just good at it. I loved it.

Ever since a kid I loved scientific stuff. My favorite TV shows were MathTinik, Sineskwela, and Beakman’s World. One of my favorite games was “The Incredible Machine.” I’d always ask my big brother how things worked (why doesn’t the fly hit the back of the car? What does e equals mcsquared mean?). I loved reading encyclopedias, math books, etc. I loved solving mathematical flash cards in grade school. I even joined the Mathematical Trainer’s Guild for a year and finished in the upper 50% of that batch! (yes, am proud of it even if it was a bit of a low batch rank). As a kid, I wanted to be a scientist or a mathematician.

Review classes came and I was acing the Math and Physics exams.

Fourth year high came and I was acing the Physics exams. I was tutoring a few of my classmates before exams came. I was even Physics teacher for a day for crying out loud!

But yeah. College came and I thought my enjoyable science days were over. I though ever since then, I would be Stat-ing all my life. Little did I know that enlisting in Physics 10 would keep the fire alive (at least for a sem).

Physics 10 was like a crash course for the National Institute of Physics and its courses. As in a Physics and Applied Physics crash course. In between Galileo and Copernicus and Einstein we talked about science for the economy, the importance of PhDs and their journals (scientific manpower!), what physicists can do for the country, and the fun-ness of science.

I remember being enticed by Dr. Perry’s “about NIP” lectures, Dr. Blanca’s lectures on optics, the instrumentation, the high powered microscopes, the flying photons, the lasers. I remember chatting with Sir Marko late at night, asking about career opportunities in Physics.

I was ultimately having fun. The only sad thing about it was I can only take it up once (after getting that uno I doubt they’d be allowing me take it up again).

After that happy-happy subject, I had to face the bitter truth: I was a Stat major. Since I had to cope with it for a few more years, I applied for StatSoc. Stat was the bitter coffee, StatSoc was the sugar (remember this? Hahaha).

In a sudden turn of events, my parents talked to me one night. They told me that they were giving me their blessing: I could now shift away from Stat if I wanted.

I was reluctant at first. It was already the middle of the second semester and I was already getting accustomed to the course (even though I was cursing it every statistically significant second of my life). The application process for StatSoc made things worse, as all my efforts would be wasted if I were to shift out.

And then all of a sudden, a lightbulb moment.

A flashback from 4th year highschool. I was hailing a cab to go to school one afternoon when there was this other person on the other side of the road who looked like he was going to steal the cab I was hailing. The cab, having a few passengers, just breezed right through us.

I looked at the man and he looked at me.

And with that he crossed the street.

He asked me if I was going to Ateneo. Apparently, he noticed that I was wearing the Ateneo high uniform, and he told me we could ride together, since he, too, was going to Ateneo. I agreed since it was 50% less gastos for me. hehe. We found a cab and got in together.

Inside the cab, I learned that his name was James Esguerra, and he was a teacher in the Environmental Science department in the Loyola schools.

Upon learning that I was in my senior year highschool, he asked me what course I applied for. I told him that I applied for BAA, Stat, ME and Envi Sci, but I was considering shifting to Physics when I step into college.

He told me that he knew a lot of Physics professors in both Ateneo and UP. His brother himself was a Physics professor in UP. He then gave me his contact details and told me that if I were really considering studying Physics, I should give him a ring.

To tell you the truth, I almost forgot about that moment.

Now, end flashback, back to a year later, back to the dilemma. After that talk with my parents, I sought for wisdom from experienced people. I texted people from Lauan, my highschool adviser Mr. Lauron, my Physics 10 teacher Sir Marko, etc etc.

Texting and talking to all these people reminded me of something that had just happened a year ago, in a cab, on the way to Ateneo.

I had this urge to seek for Mr. James Esguerra’s advice. After all, he told me to contact him when I felt like doing Physics.

I googled his name to no avail. All I could find were referrals to Ateneo’s Environmental Science program. I asked Mr. Lauron if he knew him, he told me that he didn’t know him.

I almost gave up looking for him as I don’t know to whom he is connected to. I was about to text Sir Marko one night when I remembered that Mr. James Esguerra had a brother who was teaching in UP.

I already asked Sir Marko if there was an Esguerra teaching in UP, when I realized my stupidity and lack of common and statistical sense (probability, probability): there was indeed an Esguerra in UP, and he was none other than Dr. Jose Perico Esguerra.

To cut an already long story short, I found Dr. James Esguerra. He was the brother of Dr. Perry Esguerra, and Dr. Perry gladly gave me his number. :) I contacted him, and called me at home. It was like Physics 10: telephone version, as he was explaining to me the possibilities that came along with being a Physics major. He told me stories of scientists collaborating for a greater cause, of Filipinos being able to do cool scientific stuff, the dire need of Filipino scientists and stuff…

And then finally came my lightbulb moment.

Inspired by my physicist/scientist idols (Sir Lauron, Sir Marko, Dr. Perry, Dr. James), I finally decided to shift.

And yes, I guess I found myself already. I am now with what I loved most as a kid: doing science. :)

I actually already have planned what I wanted to do here in the NIP. Study for 5 years (and around 2 more summers), teach while taking up my master’s degree, and then move on to do some hardcore science.

O yeah. :) This is gonna be exciting