Lemme start this entry with a bit of history.
A few years back, my mother was so conscious of her figure, that every night she would ask us kids, “am I fat?”
Being the lovely kids we are, we always replied, “no mom! You’re sexy! The sexiest mommy of all!”
And thus, the pseudonym Sexy Mom was born.
Now, on with the rant.
Just this afternoon, I received a threat in the comments section of one of my entries. A certain “decent filipino woman” (filipinowoman@gmail.com) was ranting against my mom’s use of her pseudonym. She said,
Your mom is a disgrace to the Filipino women. We have been trying to change the image of the Filipino women in the internet. Foreigners type “filipina” to search for women to have sex. The same kind of people (pedophiles and perverts) type “sexy mom” and it points to your mother . Your mom is an embarassment to our country. Tell her to stop using that name . I know of other mommy bloggers who laugh behind her back because of her pseudonym.
Let this serve as a warning to your family.
Of course, I did not approve the comment (but wtf, I’m posting it here!!! It’s also published here.).
Aaaaanyways.
The “decent” filipino woman said that my mom was a “disgrace to Filipino women” because her use of the pseudonym “Sexy Mom” leads to promotion of perversion in the Philippines.
How?
According to her comment, when perverted foreigners type “sexy mom” in the internet, it points to my mom. And this, the filipino woman says, is a disgrace and an embarrassment
Great.
Let’s do a bit of roleplaying. I’ll be a dirty pervert, looking for some alternative mommy sex. And my mom, plays as herself, the Sexy Mom of the blogosphere.
I go to Google. I type “sexy mom in the philippines” on the box, and then click on “I’m feeling lucky today!”
What pops out?
The D Spot.
Ok then. Sounds naughty enough. Now I start looking for some sexy pictures…
Aaaand… I find none.
What do I get instead?
Tips on Filipino motherhood. On parenting. On learning. On travel. On patriotism.
Filipina sex? None. Malicious pictures? None. Sexy moms having sex? NONE.
So, tell me, “decent” filipino woman. How the heck does this lead to the embarrassment and disgrace of our country?
Don’t you think my mom’s blog is doing otherwise?
Yes, people continue to search for dirty, malicious content by using the keywords “sexy mom.” But instead, what do they get? A wholesome blog.
Rather than promoting how sexy and sex-able Filipinas are, my mom is promoting the Filipina mother in a very wholesome way.
And that, my friend, is nowhere near to saying that the Filipina woman as a foreigner sex object (as how your comment implies).
Does her blog disgrace the country? No. Does her blog embarrass the Filipina woman? No. Does her blog show how good Filipinas are in bed? No.
So here I go again, saying my favorite line…
Before saying anything and attacking the person personally, please, know the person first. And if it’s us bloggers you’re attacking, please, learn how to read before you attack.
What’s so wrong with using a pseudonym?
(Hmmmm. Makes me think… Should I change “Bababa ba?” to Sexy Man? BWAHAHAHAHA)
June 26th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
haha! sige, BA, palitan mo ng SEXY MAN! hahaha! pag may nasabi na naman sya dun, talaga naman o… hehehe!
June 26th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
grabe, what that person said was so out of line!
June 26th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
Sheesh. Tita Dine’s one of the exemplary Filipina mothers out there. How dare this “decent filipino woman!”
And yes, “Sexy Man” will work, BA. I bet that your traffic will skyrocket with such a sexy pseudonym. :p
June 26th, 2007 at 8:13 pm
ano ba ang tanga naman ng decent filipino woman na yan! your mom is actually CHANGING the image of the “sexy filipina”.. she’s actually proving that being sexy does not mean being horny or sexually stimulating or anything of the same context - it means giving love, keeping a family together, and yes, being “the light of the home”.
ba, bakit may mga taong hindi malawak magisip?
hehehe oh and do keep babababa!!! it’s fun to converse in front of foreigners.. tipong may magtatanong “bababa ba?” tapos may sasagot ng “bababa.. bababa..”
June 26th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
inggit lang yung ale na yun kasi siya hindi sexy. lol.
June 26th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
Yeah. Sex and sexy are two different things. That “decent” filipino woman should at least check the dictionary before posting such an insult.
June 26th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Also, I think what the “decent” filipino woman thought of was something different. Tsk tsk.
June 26th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
you know what, DONT tell your mom to erase her name. You know why? Kasi when those “perverts” type in “sexy mom” and it leads to your mom’s page, atleast diba, matatauhan sila at magguilty sa ginawa nila! Tska, maybe it will enlighten them when they read your mom’s journal..
ang tawag dun…
reverse psych…
or something. Parang, diba?! mas cool nga yun eh. para matauhan sila..
and to that “decent” woman. SHAME ON HER. i think she’s not smart enough to notice na buti nga yung blog ng mom mo lumalabas eh. kesa ACTUAL filipina,diba? Your mom is actually SAVING the filipinas! duh.
lab, mother number 2 :D hahaha
June 26th, 2007 at 9:30 pm
Okay you have to bitchslap that person right now to wherever continent she belongs to. She’s a disgrace to all commenters who don’t know how to read before posting a comment.
Bahahaha.
June 26th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
woahh… foul to the maxxxx… I can’t believe a decent filipino woman would say that and actually think that she’s doing the right thing… she doesn’t even know your mom… grabe… she’s a disgrace… nakakahiya siya… judgmental fool…
June 26th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
Try emailing the woman to check if the e-address she provided is valid. Usually those who leave scathing comments like that aren’t brave enough to leave info that could be traced back to their real identities.
June 26th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
I don’t know what is the sudden outburst of that woman means. But seriously, she should try checking her resources first, confirming them, then start attacking. Apparently there’s no proof to what she has claimed.
Kuya! sige! I-SEXY MAN MO NA YAN! bwahahaha!
June 26th, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Ate Lei: Mas bagay noh? Hahaha. Naku, baka sugurin naman ako ng mga decent filipino men. :o
kaxe: I know! Bahala siya sa buhay nya
Alex: How dare the person talaga! I hate trolls hough I love writing against them (oh no I took their bait! Hahaha) Anyways, bagay talaga yung Sexy Man noh? Hehehehe.
Pauline: Sadly, marami talagang tao ang makitid ang isip. Hahahaha. Anyways, ayaw mo talaga nung sexy man? XD
kimoi: Tayo sexy! Woohoo!
joo: Iba nga talaga yung iniisip nya. Oh well. Though I checked the dictionary. Sexy means sexually stimulating. XD Or in slang, sexy can also be “appealing.”
icai: Onga! Reverse psych! Kesa makakita sila ng hubad na nanay, makakita sila ng wholesome na nanay! Diba diba? :D
Juice: She is, indeed, a disgrace. Hahaha. Though I had my share of such commenters attacking me, I think it was my mom’s first. Bitchslap na toh!!
jen: Uber foul!
Prudence: I’ll try e-mailing the person later. But mom and my brothers have received the same comment. Different e-mail adds were used (well, according to mom, hehe)
Bianca: Onga eh. Diba, kapag hinanap mo naman sexy mom tapos blog ng nanay ko lumabas, wala kang makikitang malicious na bagay? Dapat talaga matuto siya magbasa muna. Sexy Man na toh! WAHAHAHA
to the troll: Whoever you are, shut up! How dare you call us faggots!
Hehehehe. Apparently, this entry was trolled as soon as 30 minutes after posting. Obiviously, I didn’t approve the comment. XD
June 26th, 2007 at 10:10 pm
yeah. go for “sexy man”. sexy ka naman eh :P
as for my comment…
yeah, you have a great point there. the one who posted had a very closed mind. i mean, if you really think about it, your mom helps change the image of “filipina” in the internet. with “sexy mom” changes the whole stigma of filipinas being only a source of temporary satisfaction.
embarrassment to our country? i beg to differ.
there goes crab mentality weee :D
anyway, in europe (as far as i remember), the food companies are giving fast food a new image. they adapted the lounge-y feel of the restaurant, having sofas, tables and a lot of space (a-la starbucks).
your mom is doing something like this. and there might be a chance that she didn’t even mean to. maybe her manifest function is just to promote motherhood, and with the latent function comes the change of the stigma. haha. sociology. :P
basta, ipagpatuloy lang iyan. insecure ang mga iyon. :D
BA: We’re both sexy, with our uber sexy hair. Hehehe. Onga, mga insecure na crab people lang sila.
Anyways. Nakita mo ba yung Jollibee ng Trinoma? Sila rin ina-adopt yung loungey feel.
June 26th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
How could she say that about your mom? The other commenters are right, Sexy Mom could not portray something bad like what she’s saying. Disgrace to the Filipino women? She should try reading your mom’s blog. Hello, asan ang disgrace dun? I love yer mom. Don’t mind that person anymore. I miss yaaaaaa. :)
BA: I miss you to Erykaaaaa!
June 26th, 2007 at 10:43 pm
These nitpickers are a dime a dozen. Just a drop of water in an ocean.
BA: You said it. :)
June 26th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
Go Sexy Man! Hahaha!
It’s like associating sex with the act, not the fact that it pertains to your biological orientation.
Oh yeah, it makes me think, if that warning actually means that you might get lots of hits that the server can’t handle.
BA: I’m sex-ay! Hahaha. Oooh. Lotsa hits. Tempting. XD
June 26th, 2007 at 11:40 pm
Hay. Napailing ako. Ilaaaaaaaang beses.
Tsk tsk. Hindi ata bagay sa kanyan ugn pseudonym na ‘decent filipino woman’.
Nakakatawa sya kasi mukha syang tanga sa comment nya. Halatang hindi nagbabasa. At halatang super inggit.
ANyway, go na “Sexy Man”.. Haha.. ako rin kaya, Sexy Hot Pink Urinal.. *whistle*
BA: Cai, ingat ka. Susugurin ka ng decent filipino pink urinals!!! Wahahaha. Pero nakakatawa nga talaga si decent filipino woman. XD
June 27th, 2007 at 1:45 am
[...] This could be an attack to bloggers per se—don’t we have the freedom for flippant labels, for humor, for writing creatively? I am not writing any explanation—I don’t think I owe “decentmother” any. Son BA was ranting and raving and came up with a beautifully written post. You may see the comments he received here. A disgrace? An embarrassment? Really now? [...]
June 27th, 2007 at 1:57 am
thanks a lot, BA, to come to my defense–it’s a very beautiful post. now i know that we have raised you well. earlier, i wanted to keep silent, but since you have written about it, i am writing my piece-actually, i just copied yours
http://dine.racoma.com.ph/musings/whaaaat-sexy-mom-a-disgrace-to-filipino-women-seems-like-an-attack-to-bloggers-per-se/
your friends are invited to see it.
love you, BA
sexy mom (sexy lola pala!)
BA: I love you mother dear! :)
June 27th, 2007 at 2:43 am
Congratulations for standing up for your mom! And your telling the family story of how the name came to be is so heartwarming. My kids say the same to me. All kids raised lovingly will always think their mom is the sexiest and their dad the most handsome in the world, di ba? How much more wholesome can you get?
It’s unfortunate that there are still some people who think the word sexy and sex are automatically dirty and bad. How sad for them! Can’t a woman be sexy and loving and caring at the same time?
I have very high respect for your mom, and in extension, for her blog. She is a woman who has fulfilled, and continues to fulfill, her womanhood and her personhood by continuing to grow.
The world is evolving and we are all changing for the better. Those who cling to the old paradigms are in a panic, as exemplified by that comment. And she calls herself “decent” when she goes against very basic decency in her attack.
Don’t worry. Anyone who knows your Mom, or even strangers who just read her blog for the first time, will immediately see how ridiculous this accusation is.
BA: Thanks Tita Maia! :D Hehe. That decent filipino woman wasn’t so decent after all. XD Sexy is in!
June 27th, 2007 at 8:19 am
isa ako sa mga nagbabasa ng blog ng mum mo at definitely, she’s a sexy mom. her being sexy shows through her entries about motherhood, family, life, etc. you’re blessed to have a mum like tita dine. =)
BA: Thanks Carlotta. :)
June 27th, 2007 at 10:49 am
Let us teach decent filipino woman a thing or two about the English language.
Words are dynamic. Their definitions are ever-changing.
Sexy doesn’t automatically mean sex. Just like baby doesn’t automatically mean an infant. It can be a term of endearment. Bread means both money and a flour-based foodstuff.
I think that calling our moms sexy is okay, and by golly do they need it! My mom also has the same “Am I fat?” moments. But of course, we children know that our moms are the most beautiful women in the world. They’re beautiful every ‘weigh’ they are.
Plus, I like your mom. She’s cool. She’s also so nice! Haha. I remember when we crashed her birthday party and she even ordered those mouth-watering barbeques for us.
—–
PS BA! Go get a haircut! Hahaha… Miss you and Aya.
BA: Yes, our moms do need to be called sexy, because they really are. :D
I miss you too Cake! And no, I’m not getting a haircut.
June 27th, 2007 at 11:30 am
What’s wrong with this ‘decent filipina woman’ whose trying to put your mom down?
Dapat nga maging proud siya because when you type in the keywords yung blog ni Tita Dine ang lumalabas and not some kind of porn site or whatever. Sana that person browse through the site first bago magsabi ng kung anu-ano. Does being “Sexy” means kabastusan? No. For me, being sexy is in the way a woman carries herself with ease and confidence at meron si Tita Dine nun kaya nga mahal na mahal siya ng mga taga blogosphere. hay naku grrr
pasensya na BA i don’t think tita dine and your family deserves this pananakot. I admire you for standing up for your mom. =) rock on and more power!
BA: Tama, dapat nga maging proud yung taong yun. Pero ayun, hindi kasi siya marunong magbasa. XD
June 27th, 2007 at 2:02 pm
What a jerk to attack your mom, AND your family. The prude. I wonder what she will say to Basang Panaginip and other sex-oriented pinoy blogs.
BA: Maybe she was reading the wrong blog. LOL. But yeah, she was a mega-jerk.
June 27th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
why not try changing your name to “Sexy BA”? :-)
BA: If people pronounce my name wrong (read: Ba) that would sound like a question. Lol. :D
June 27th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
OMG. Nakakatawa yung comment? I agree with every point in your post. So hindi ko na dadagdagan, dahil paulit-ulit na lang.
And just so you know, as a proof that your Tita Dine’s blog is not a disgrace at all, I even recommended it to my sister (who is a mom herself with 3 naughty kids) and my mom, who barely knows how to surf the net in the first place.
For all we know, that comment is a planted one, thinking it would ‘destroy’ your Mom. On the contrary, diba? Bloggers (the decent and smart ones, at least) know better that to agree with this. =)
BA: Sobrang katawa-tawa yung comment noh? Hahaha. Minsan iniisip ko rin na planted yung comment. Pero kasi ilang beses na niyang sinesend yun, hindi lang namin pinapansin dati.
June 27th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
*nods* sexy man! weeee!
and your mom’s teh cool.
BA: Yes, my mom is teh cool. :D I got my sexy-ness from her. Hehehe
June 27th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
[...] For those who don’t know, we in Pisay owe Tita Dine Racoma somewhat. She was one of the first people who picked up on Pisay Meets World, causing it to tip and explode in popularity. But this is not the reason why I’m jumping to Mrs. Racoma’s defense, if you can call this that. I won’t say much more though, since I think her son Ba said it pretty nicely. [...]
June 27th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
Sexy man!
I liiiike. Hahaha!
BA: Rarr. Bet ko nasexy-han ka sakin nung semstarter. BWAHAHAHA.
Joke lang Han! :D
June 27th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
trolls… mamatay na sila! nabiktima na rin ako niyan! ex links? :D
BA: Mamatay na nga sila! Hahaha
June 27th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
i forgot to point this out. “decent Filipino woman” better take socsci 3. or maybe her concept of decency is ignorance…?
BA: She should also take PanPil19, so she could discover her own backwardedness. Hehehe
June 27th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
You’ve got a TOTALLY awesome point! Haha! What a way to disprove that mentality towards Filipinas. Cool, cool.
As for the incredibly annoying comment… Well, of course I suppose she’s entitled to her own opinion, and, shyeah, maybe her motive might have been good originally, but demmit! She had a lousy way of saying things. Personally, I don’t like being called sexy, but hey that’s just me. And if I didn’t approve of your mom’s web nick, I would have said so in a not-so-threatening way. Sheesh. She could have been more nice, civil and DECENT about it. *sigh* Ah well.
Again, I say: you’ve responded really well to this, you and your mom (and I guess your whole family). Cheers!
BA: Thanks, thanks! Speaking of the mentality towards Filipinas, you might as well join the Filipina campaign too, Sarah! :D
June 27th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
*clapclap*
:)
Ignorance indeed.
PERSPECTIVE, people!
BA: Yes, perspective please!
June 27th, 2007 at 10:09 pm
I say your mom deserves the title of Sexy Mom because the best sexiness lies in the mind, which apparently, this “decent Filipino woman” lacks. Hah! Much love to your mom, BA!
And hmm… Sexy BA sounds rather cheeky as a blog name, but frankly, I still prefer the current “Bababa ba?” Bababa! Bababa!
BA: Hahaha. Mom really does deserve the title. As for me, I’m not sure if I do deserve it (yeah right, I do kaya!!! LOL)
June 27th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
antaray!
I also read your mom’s blog. Sa totoo lang, nagulat rin ako when I saw your mom’s profile saying that she’s Sexy Mom. But I found it funny and cool for a mom to use a like pseudonym like that.
Pero grabe naman yung “decent” mom na toh. She has no logic, nor sense of humor.
All the best to your Mom!
May she be sexier than ever! ^_^
BA: Nagbabasa ka pala ng blog ni ma! Hahaha. Wala lang. Pero oo nga, grabe yung comment.
June 27th, 2007 at 11:54 pm
ah! very well retaliated!
honestly, that decent filipina woman is more of a disgrace that what she’s trying to imply on your mother. i have been really amazed at your family’s effort on keeping a well organized and very informative family blog. it’s actually an inspiration to most. so an attack like this is just plain stupid.
i wonder if that woman knows what a blog really is. your mom is an icon for the best type of filipina’s and mothers we have.
why, if my mom knows how to blog, she’d probably took the same approach as calling herself hot momma! i wonder what they’d say then?! hahahahha!
BA: Teach your mom how to blog! Dali! Para may Hot Momma of the blogosphere tayo. Kami tinuruan lang namin si mommy.
June 28th, 2007 at 3:36 am
Ever heard of the term MILF (Not moro international liberation front) … the one with Mom as the start… so MILF + Filipina + ??? = Profit!!!
Just kidding.
I’ve never been to your mom’s blog…. yet. Maybe in a bit. :D
BA: MILF = Mom I’d like to FRIEND? LOL
June 28th, 2007 at 3:41 am
Oh, oh… and I admit that that person’s words were a little too harsh, and maybe unwarranted. But just thought I’d let u guys know about the better known meaning of MILF :D
NO I’M NOT A PERVERT
June 28th, 2007 at 4:01 am
You did the right thing… I would the same thing and more… if that situation, happened to my Mom. well , I’m thinking of 3 things “stalking”, “kidnapping”, “torture”….hrmmm hehehe!!
“decent filipina woman” - is she serious? she should just bury her head in the sand… like a cute ostrich would do…hrrmmm…stupidity, ignorance or just plain jealousy probably doesn’t have a mom… to call pretty or sexy…
I read your Mom’s blog… and there’s nothing perverted in there… actually your Mom IS the “decent” and “sexy filipina mom” ~O) :D
BA: Oooh. Dapat pala yung tatlong bagay na yun na lang ginawa ko! Lol. And hmmm, she wouldn’t do what cute ostriches would do, because she’s not cute. Hahaha
June 28th, 2007 at 6:20 am
First time reader here, and I’m really impressed the way you protected your mom! Napakakitid naman ng utak nung “decent Filipina woman” to limit the word ’sexy mom’ to something that means perversion.
Ang cool nga isipin that when you search for ‘Filipina sexy mom’ ung blog na would really give you a different perspective about sexy moms ang number 1 (in the first place, why would a decent Filipina woman search something like that in the SEs? nagtaka lang din ako dun).
I also think your mom is cool. Ano pa ba? I don’t know what else to add up, nasabi na ang lahat.
Sana lang open minded mga tao when it comes to blogs. It’s our choice to put inject humor to some taboo terms and words. But you can’t please everybody neh? Oh my gosh ano na lang sasabihin ni “decent filipina woman” about single moms like me? hahay whatever
BA: Nakapagtataka talaga kung bakit nga ba niya hinahanap sa SEs yun. hahaha. And yes, sana lang may sense of humor ang ibang tao. :D
June 28th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
so much for the “decent” filipina woman… hehe… cute yung story ng “sexy mom” hehe… pwedeng “hot momma” naman? :P
BA: Onga eh. Ang self-righteous masiyado nung pangalan niya, hehehe.
June 28th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
Judging before knowing a person ticks me off. Plus, it’s very obvious that your mom has a wholesome blog. So if ever foreigners do want to look for “fun”, they’d have to look elsewhere. In fact, I think your mom promotes the wholesome image of Filipino moms.
BA: Back then I found it weird that dirty perverts visit my mom’s blog through Google, but now it does me proud. :) Speaking of promotion of the wholesome image, come, join us in our campaign to reshape the online filipina image! :D
June 29th, 2007 at 3:17 am
[...] Hi everyone! Thanks for all the comments in the previous post. I’ll be replying to all your comments when I find the time. Yes, ALL of your comments. There’s a nagging feeling when you don’t get to reply to your commentators. Hehehe. Try ko saturday night. [...]
June 29th, 2007 at 4:14 am
[...] The outpouring of support in the subsequent comments not only showed people approving of the contextual use of the word “sexy” on her blog; her son BA argued that his mother’s blog is redefining the word sexy vis-a-vis the image of a Filipina by using it in a very wholesome manner. [...]
June 29th, 2007 at 6:55 am
[...] Home « A disgrace? An embarrassment? Really now? 28 06 2007 [...]
June 29th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
[...] The Filipino blogosphere is up in arms in reshaping the image of Filipinas online after a certain “Decent Mother” went on a rampage when she took umbrage towards a Filipina Mom using Sexy Mom as her online pseudonym. I used the word rampage because “she” left the same comments to all her sons’s blogs. To quote that ignorant person who is hiding behind the name “decent mother” : You are a disgrace to the Filipino women. We have been trying to change the image of the Filipino women in the internet. Foreigners type “filipina” to search for women to have sex. The same kind of people (pedophiles and perverts) type “sexy mom” and it points to You . You are an embarassment to our country. Stop using SEXY MOM. Filipino mothers are loving caring mothers. Leave the SEX part in your bedroom . Mommy bloggers laugh behind your back because of your pseudonym. Filipino women are too polite to tell you to say that using sexy mom is killing the filipino women. [...]
July 1st, 2007 at 1:42 am
[...] SexyMom has to be credited for bringing up such wonderful children. One of her sons, BA, wrote a lengthy, beautiful response that surely put “decent mother’s” rantings to shame. Even her grade school son, Alan Jr., wrote a short but touching expression of his sadness. A son’s defense of his Mom’s honor in the face of this virtual mudslinging is just outright heartwarming for any Mom and as we see her kids close ranks around her, all I can think of is — what a super, lucky woman SexyMom is!!!. [...]
July 1st, 2007 at 6:40 pm
I totally agree with you. Sexy isn’t just about sex, imo. And decent may mean many things, depending on social conventions.
Para kay “decent mother” at sa mga iba pa na katulad niya mag-isip, eto lang ang masasabi ko: Buti nga. BA just proved you wrong. Bwahahahaha!
PS BA, nasaan ka na? I don’t see you anymore. May GEs ka ba?
BA: Isa lang GE ko ngayong sem. :( Pero baka mas magkikita pa tayo! Sumali ako sa isang CMC based org. :D
July 3rd, 2007 at 1:06 am
What a silly woman… Your Mom is an exemplary role model for Filipino women - smart, articulate, a working mother, etc. I totally admire her… and love her blogs.
I guess that silly prude would probably take offense to my blog if she ever Googled “food porn”. Heck, she’d probably be offended by my latest “sexually suggestive” food entry… lol.
July 9th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
[...] BA Racoma writes about someone saying that his mom is a disgrace and an embarrassment to Filipinas. As much as I see the insulter’s point, she’s still so freakin’ annoying, I came so freakin’ close to swearing. (No, I don’t swear. Just so you know.) [...]
July 9th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
BA!! I just read this.. The supposed to be ‘decent mom’ is not so decent after all. andddd..
Change na din to Sexy Man HAHAH! kidding :) I might drop by bukas! text kita pag andun na ko :)
July 13th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
[...] Oh well. Better stop writing about this, concerned parents might begin storming my precious blog (”you are a disgrace to the Filipino people!” Lol). [...]
July 31st, 2007 at 4:21 am
[...] Noemi: hi lorns. question Lorna: hey, just woke up Noemi: is sexy not a nice word to use? Lorna: Yes, it’s a good word to use. For example… Noemi: not? Lorna: IT’S OK Noemi: you said it ’s not commonly used in the states Lorna: Examples Noemi: sabi mo hindi. when i said “sexy” to your american friend Lorna: I said it’s ok Noemi: ah Lorna: in what context? Noemi: sexy mom Lorna: how is it used? Noemi: sexy mom as a pseudonym for a 50 year old mom Lorna: I think I get it! Noemi: is that a good nickname ba? my friend uses it kasi and she’s getting bad comments Lorna: There’s too much political correctness here in the US to guard us against sexual harassment suits Noemi: and? Lorna: I must give you some examples where it is construed as appropriate Noemi: in this case? sexy mom? Lorna: If you are a marketer — and you are writing marketing copy that’s boring, then we would say, “It’s not sexy!” Noemi: regarding moms? Lorna: For sexy mom, here in the US, it would be construed as a sexist remark Noemi: sexist? Lorna: So, I would change it to FABULOUS MOM! Noemi: ahh Lorna: That’s my opinion… since I’m reading into the professional and feminist ways of reading the word SEXY Noemi: but she is known as that name Lorna: sexy for me means “attractive,” “enticing,” “attention-getting.” Noemi: sexy mom? is that sexy? Lorna: I think you attract too much controversy using “sexy mom” as if you are a sex object. I would prefer “Fabulous Mom.” I have more explanations. In the workplace, we cannot compliment the person as a sex object. So, if we think a woman looks really good in an outfit, we say, “Hey, that suit looks wonderful on you” instead of saying, “You look sexy in that suit!” Noemi: yes that is sexual harassment Lorna: Get it! Noemi: yup Lorna: If I find a man attractive, I say, “Love your tie!” It looks great on you!” instead of saying, “You look F—-ing gorgeous enough to eat!” What you don’t want to see happen is that the object of your comments replies, “I’m uncomfortable with your comments.” The minute the person says that, he or she can complain to HR about sexual harassment. I know, this is a catch-22 situation. Noemi: that’s right Lorna: So, you have to define if “sexy mom” is for the professional workplace or if “sexy mom” is to signify liberation from stereotypical images of mommies. Where are the comments? I can read them and give you my input. Noemi: http://ba.racoma.com.ph/archives/a-disgrace-an-embarrassment-really-now/ Lorna: If you go to http://www.ffwn.org, Filipina Women’s Network, you might gain some insight on how we want women to be perceived. Noemi: ahh. I don’t know what that anonymous writer wanted to write Lorna: FWN is the organization I belong to — and myrna Lorna: I understand both sides. Let me explain. At FWN, we google searched the word, “Filipina” and we found a gazillion sites on dating. So, during our future search summit last October 2006, we agreed to make sure that the Pinay image on the internet would come out with more “non-dating” entries when googling the word “Filipina” by increasing the FWN and FWN-related entries of Filipina itself. In other words, we increase the number of hits on the same word. I understand the blogger’s idea. Use the same word, “sexy mom” which would probably have the highest number of hits eventually if more wholesome mothers carry the name “Sexy Mom” — and hopefully any google searchers will find more wholesome entries. The anonymous writer has good intentions but I think doesn’t understand that fighting hackneyed perceptions about “sexy mom” means also fighting the women’s cause by using the same weapons — that is, the same words. You can print my comments. Noemi: yeah you’re right. thanks for the insight Lorna: “Shaping the “Filipina Image” is one of our causes at FWN — and I’m a member of the committee that seeks to find better ways to elevate the Filipina woman’s image (note the intended redundancy, “Filipina Woman“) and help them go the next level of leadership in their chosen field of endeavor. You can print this also. Thus, there is a reason for my blog, “RadiantView.com,” to exist. Noemi: so it’s good to link the keyword Filipina to the Filipina Women’s Network Lorna: RadiantView.com’s existence is to help in the marketing, public relations, and events relating to the Filipino American community — and the diverse communities that I come in contact with. In the end, it’s not about Filipinos — but about highlighting the dignity of the human spirit. Noemi: buti naman. thanks for the advice Lorna: So, the well-meaninged anonymous writer should remember that if there are more people using the word “Filipina, woman, Filipina woman, Filipina sexy woman, Filipina sexy mom,” then the chances are — that if there are more enlightened women warriors who want to help reshape the Filipina woman’s image by using the same words to capitalize on the goodness of the same words — then, whoever wins the google search war is the one with the most number of “wholesome content” hits. I may not be very clear but I hope you get my message. Noemi: i get the point din Lorna: You might want to read my blog on “vagina warrior” and let me give you a link to the Philippine News article — and my comments. This will help your blogger friend. Noemi: sige Lorna: Read this, and if appropriate, provide a link. People were averse to the word “puki” (same thing as “sexy mom”)… “The Power of P (a review of Vagina Monologues/Usaping Puki)” Noemi: thanks lorns Lorna: Yes, anytime. We need more women warriors who can elevate the term “sexy mom” as a word of honor so that mommies can be honored as women who are not only mothers but honored as fabulous women — who are leaders in their own vocations (whether it be cooking, parenting, etc.)… Noemi: ahh, good point. but u said avoid them as sex objects. di ba contradicting? Lorna: The articles I wrote in my blog and the Philippine News commentaries will help you. Lorna: I studied this for a long time — and since I’m a copywriter, it is my messaging that helps more women rise up to the challenge of reshaping people’s perceptions about the Filipina Woman’s image. The Filipina Woman is strong, sensitive, nurturing, and insightful. If more Filipinos use the redundant words, “Filipina Woman,” there will be more wholesome entries. You can email Marily Mondejar, our president (and organizational consultant and change consultant) at marily@ffwn.org for more of these questions. You can also ask her comments on the anonymous writer. Just say you are my sister. I’m known more as a “strategy consultant” among the women, Noemi: wow nice inputs lorns Lorna: Thank you. Now you know what I do. Help your friend out. Your perception is your reality. The comments I wrote in Philippine News lightened up the spirits of the Filipinas who were laughed upon for using the word “Puki” as a word of honor. Noemi: hehehe Lorna: Seize the power from these sleazy people and empower the Filipina mom by making sure that people know she is also a fabulous woman, a sexy mom! Redefine the word “sexy.” Noemi: yeah should be redefined Lorna: Get a survey going on the word “sexy mom” and poll the answers. Then, put that on the internet. Use the same logic that we at Filipina Women’s Network are using. Shape the Filipina Woman’s Image. Noemi: i was thinking of that Lorna: That’s what our organization is doing. We have over 2,000 women in our network. Marily is very good at using empowering words. Noemi: dami ano Lorna: Yup. Myrna is a member also. I convinced her, I guess. There was a comment though from one person, though. She said that “we weren’t feminist enough.” I think we need to be a source of “common ground or shared truths.” Not all women are feminists. We just need to be aware of our power and our rights. Noemi: she likes it Lorna: Who likes it? Noemi: myrna. she told me Lorna: Oh, good! Lorna: “Shape the Filipina Woman’s Image” is the name of our FWN campaign. We have a professional development core and a social justice campaign. Lorna: What I said in my Philippine News commentary: “We like it when you speak out — for or against our FWN productions. It’s all right. What you cannot stop is CHANGE. Change in the way Filipinas think and what they do about violence. It’s all about perception. If you think the word “puki” is a slutty word, then so be it. For us, “Vagina” and “puki,” spoken in all languages and dialects, remain “words of honor.” Lorna: The way I think is really the result of Nestor Perez’s meditation practice work on me… Although I don’t speak to him now, I am always grateful to him for the guidance. Noemi: i like the insights. thank you. [...]
July 31st, 2007 at 8:56 am
[...] “Decent Mom” triggered it, BA and Sexy Mom exposed it, Noemi started the campaign, and all the rest have said their piece. But all this is not yet enough. FILIPINOS—regardless of sex, creed and location, bloggers—regardless of niche, C’MON, LET US UNITE in RECLAIMING THE DIGNITY OF THE FILIPINA WOMAN AND RESHAPING THE CLEAN IMAGE OF THE SEXY FILIPINA, not only ONLINE, but also in the traditional forms of media as well. [...]
September 21st, 2007 at 12:56 am
[...] This has happened already too many times. I myself have written a few controversial posts which, according to my Mom, have gained a small following and even spurted a few initiatives. [...]
November 6th, 2007 at 11:23 am
[...] For all of these, I have my family to thank for—for being loyal, fiercely fighting for me, and you my dear Readers for sharing—my thoughts, joy, fun, challenges You were there to comfort in my most trying times. [...]
June 28th, 2008 at 1:44 am
[...] of all, the Filipina Images wouldn’t have started if I did not write that entry, and in turn responded to by my Mom If I did not write about it, Mom would’ve kept quiet, the [...]
June 29th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
[...] If they don’t really know my Mom, why would the commenters know so specific concepts (”We have been trying to change the image of the Filipino women in the internet“), and so specific people (”I know of other mommy bloggers who laugh behind her back [...]