That is one reason why some people want to leave the country… Dumb-ass politicians. Can’t they just do their jobs?
And you, military man, the gall of you to call on “loving” and “decent” Filipinos when there is nothing decent in what you are doing. Loving, possible. But decent??
I smell Martial Law brewing.
I went to church in Ateneo High this morning. I asked Kuya Jess to surprise me. And boy, did He.
He told me that he who will proclaim His Name will be persecuted…
… but not a hair on his head will perish.
Looking at my curly/wavy hair, I couldn’t help but be amused. After the initial shock of the early part of the message, He just had to mention hair. :p
On the way to Maginhawa, Josie shared to me how funny Kuya Jess can be. And because of that I was reminded of what I was taught around 3 years ago, that our relationship with Jesus Christ must be a personal one (shame, shame DWTL was discontinued in the high school). Jesus, though God, was still human. That’s why I’m still fond of calling Him my Kuya. :)
I now know what I want for this Christmas: a Bible.
God’s people are crazy people.
I want to be crazy.
HAHAHA.
Yesterday, Kuya Jess proved to me that miracles still do happen. :)
I have a friend, and she’s a living miracle. I’m so happy I was there when her phone rang.
With Kuya, anything’s possible.
This past year, I have been avoiding blogging about my faith. I thought it was being “sensitive” to others who belong to other faiths, but, that’s no reason not to share what I believe in, right? If I can be sensitive for others, why can’t others be sensitive for me? :) And hey, this is my personal space, so, I can write whatever I want. Nobody else has the right to censor me, besides me.
My faith was on a roller coaster ride this past year. Well, that was always the cycle. Acads mode the whole year, and it’s only on December when I write about Kuya Jess (come to think of it, I also did that 2 years ago). Last time I wrote about talking with Kuya Jess here in my blog was August last year.
Spent some time in Lauan’s oratory. In my mind, I just talked and talked and talked to Kuya Jess up to some points na either I’m nearly in tears, I’m about to laugh out loud, or I’m just staring at the angels in the altar.
But… Should have I listened instead? Should have I let Kuya Jess work His magic? Diba dapat pinayagan kong ipakilala Niya ang sarili Niya sa akin?
Reading the said entry, I have come to realize how much I missed Him. I guess I was just too distracted in the numerous transitions I had to go through the previous year. I was too distracted with college, organizations, blogging, driving, UAAP, booze sessions, debuts, parties, mathematics, physics, exams, movies, Multiply, YM, relationships, but I was never distracted with Him.
I find it embarrassing, really, that I let myself succumb to the little distractions in life.
But then again, it took a little distraction to bring me back to Him.
And that little distraction is called Joseph Michael.
Let me tell you some stuff about Michael.
We were never really close, to begin with. I never really got to be with him, sit beside him, and talk to him. The fingers on my right hand would be enough to count how many times we saw each other (well, I’m not actually sure if he saw me, him being a small kid and all, but, what the heck). Our meetings consisted only of hellos, hugs, kisses and goodbyes. And that was basically it.
How ironic is that it was when he had to go away that I yearned to be more with him, and Him.
Ever since he left, I always had this impulse to pass by the church, whatever day it was. I didn’t care if it wasn’t a Sunday or a church holiday, or whatever, because for me, that simply is the reason why the church doors weren’t supposedly closed. Kuya Jess always opens His doors for us.
In the course of my “churching” days (it was my niece, Cate, who is also Michael’s ate, who coined that term), one day, I heard Kuya Jess tell me through the Gospel, “he who seeks his life will lose it; and he who loses his life for my sake will find it.”
The greatest irony of it all.
Did Michael lose his life for Kuya Jess’s sake? I’m not so sure… but… because of that, I found Him again.
Many times my mom would ask me, “why did it have to take a Michael for us to become like this? A more bonded and faithful family?”
I don’t actually know… But here’s another question, for all of you this time,
“Why did it have to take a Kuya Jess on the cross?”
…
Birthday’s in a month, and people will be distracted again. The reds and greens of the trees and stars, the boxes wrapped in colorful papers and ribbons, the jingle of coins and bills would be enough to take the real meaning of the season away.
Well, I guess I should be happy that my little distraction is now with Him, making Him one of the biggest distractions in my life. And for me, that’s a good thing. :)
How about you? Have you already made Him your distraction?
Happy birthday Belle. :) Kung buhay ka pa, 6 ka na dapat ngayon. At hinaharass mo na rin siguro ako katulad ng iyong mga ate na si Bea at Marielle.
Alam kong masaya ka sa piling ni baby Michael at Kuya Jess. :) Ipagdasal mo kami ha?
While reading, writing and doing some reflection this afternoon, I switched on my iPod and rediscovered this song. It was one of my favorite Nickel Creek songs from high school. If only Days with the Lord in the Ateneo High School weren’t now defunct, I think this would pass as a Days song. Hahaha
I love You, and miss You, Kuya Jess.
Nickel Creek - The Hand Song
The boy only wanted to give Mother something
And all of her roses had bloomed
Looking at him as he came rushing in with them
Knowing her roses were doomed
All she could see were some thorns buried deep
And the tears that he cried as she tended his wounds
And she knew it was love
It was one she could understand
He was showing his love
And that’s how he hurt his hands
He still remembers that night as child
On his mother’s knee
She held him close and she opened her bible
And quietly started to read
And seeing a picture of Jesus he cried out
“Momma, He’s got some scars just like me.”
And he knew it was love
It was one he could understand
He was showing His love
And that’s how He hurt His hands
Now the boy’s grown and moved out on his own
When Uncle Sam comes along
A foreign affair, but our young men were there
And luck had his number drawn
It wasn’t that long till our hero was gone
He gave to a friend what he learned from the cross
But they knew it was love
It was one they could understand
He was showing his love
And that’s how he hurt his hands
It was one they could understand
He was showing His love
And that’s how He hurt His hands
It’s another one of those nights again. I’m very very very sleepy, but my dear bed has yet to entice me.
Ayoko pang matulog.
I’m thinking too much again.
Ateneo adventure with UP friends tomorrow! Wheeeee
I found some cheap incense to satisfy my incense fix. Hahaha. They’re the kind that are inside two test tubes. Got them for P20 per two test tubes in Cubao. They contain around 15 sticks and 8 cones. Yeap, they’re cheap, but they’re effective.
I always loved how incense smelled. They remind me of peaceful, peaceful temples.
I always wrote here in my blog how highschool can be so different from college. How true you can be to your friends in highschool, I thought, varies greatly with your friends in college.
But this weekend, I was proven wrong.
Well, blame it, I guess on the two consecutive parties by two groups of people: my high school crowd, and my college crowd.
Both groups can be very different, but I can be very me in both of them. :)
I had fun on “prom night” friday and highschool attire saturday. :D
This was bothering me since 12noon, and it was already 10:30pm when I finally discovered how to answer it. Para lang mapakawalan ko ito, isusulat ko rito ang problema at ang sagot. XD
Show that sin(x+iy) = sinxcoshy+icosxsinhy
Given sinz = [e^(iz) - e(-iz)] / 2i and cosz = [e^(iz) + e(-iz)]
Proof:
a. sin(x+iy) = sinxcosiy+cosxsiniy (by trig identity)
b. cosiy=coshy (by given, definition of hyperbolic cosine)
c. siniy=isinhy (by given, definition of hyperbolic sine)
d. sin(x+iy) = sinxcoshy+icosxsinhy (by substitution, a, b) QED
Finally, I’m done enlisting. And that means, I can already post my schedule! Woohoo!
After 3 semesters in UP I finally have a decent lunch break squeezed in the whole week’s schedule. My lunch breaks back then were disaster. I had to eat lunch either in class, or in between 1 and 4 in the afternoon. :p
But, Thursdays 11:30-1:00 are reserved for Jen and Kara. The Tuesdays with Jen and Kara series are now over. It would be replaced by Thursdays with Jen and Kara. HAHAHA. 1:00pm is reserved for Vince, as I would have to pick him up from Ateneo. :p
This schedule seems lighter, but it’s actually not. I’ve extended my semester to 19 units, compared to the 17 units in the two sems in my first year, and 18 units in the previous sem. I guess it’s in the visual sense, as the most number of consecutive subjects is 2. Try comparing it to my previous schedules (1.1, 1.2, 2.1). I even had 4 consecutive subjects last sem (see Friday of 2.1)!
Also, I guess it looks more free because I’ve group together the MTh and TF. It’s because my schedule today isn’t as irregular at last semester’s. But I had to sacrifice my free Wednesday just to make my schedule seem regular. And I don’t have PE! :p Darn
My TFs were supposed to end at 2:30. But, since the instructor in the 1:00-2:30 class was the teacher who failed me last semester (huhuhu singko), I ended up enlisting in a different section. Good thing they opened that section up while I was loitering in the Math Building.
I’m excited for this semester. Chem sounds interesting all of a sudden. Physics 72 sounds awesome. And English 11? Yeah. Hello to my terror instructor. :D
I’ve experienced those bad dreams back then way too often, that I decided to base my free-for-all creative writing piece slash final paper on it. This was written approximately a year ago. I never knew what grade I got for it, but I know it was enough to pull my final grade up to a 1.75. Hehehe.
Tenses are crap. Conversations between the characters are in Tagalog. Character names were originally from the members of my family, as most of the events depicted were based on real life experiences. But it freaked me out so much that I decided to change the names. I edited the piece a bit because it sounded weird, hahaha. Enjoy. :)
—
Memento Mori
It has been two long days. I don’t know what’s been happening in the outside world.
No electricity, no phone lines, no cellsites, damn, I never felt so disconnected my whole life.
Rosie is on the piano again, reaching for the blacks and whites. Happens every time, whenever the electricity’s out. The old piano is a constant customer when it’s dark.
I have a question.
Can your soul leave your body while you’re sleeping?
I’ve been having this awful experience of waking up in the wee hours of the morning with a sticky plastic bag in my lungs and throat, and my arms and legs frozen.
Next thing I know I’m walking all over the house, through walls, through doors.
Last night I walked towards the car, and leaned my head on the window. Then I find myself walking back to my room, seeing my body on my bed, and lying down on top of it. And I get this weird shift-y feeling. It felt like I was vacuumed inside my own body.
Being able to walk but not being able speak and breathe, it’s the crappiest feeling ever. But the vacuum-y feeling, on the other hand, is the best feeling.
It’s really scary. I hope they’re all just bad dreams. Sometimes, I’m too scared to sleep because of this.
BA | 
11 29th, 2007| 
