Bababa ba?

Hello BA,

Congratulations. You are thirteen years old. By this time, you would have had experienced at least one heartbreak. And that will not  be the only one! More will be coming.

Endure all the heartbreaks BA. Endure your brokenness.

In the end, it will all be worth it.

It is because when you get broken, you get to know more about yourself. You get to inspect each and every piece of who you are, of who you were. You get to see every piece of you. You can throw away pieces you don’t need, you can create new pieces out of the old pieces you picked up.

And then you can mend yourself. You can make yourself whole.

Eventually you will meet someone, someone who will break you all over again. You will meet someone who will chip off your armor, someone who will break you bit by bit, piece by piece, you by you.

Someone who will open you up and eat you from the inside.

And this is part of the process, you see. You see, when you allow someone to break you, when you allow someone to open you up, you can now give part of yourself to this person. You can give the little bits of you.  And this person, in turn will give part of herself to you.

And then you can mend yourself all over again.

But since you are only thirteen, you can expect that this will happen over, and over, and over again. I assure you, it will hurt, it will drive you crazy, it will curl your hair, it will straighten your hair…

… but it will never kill you.

Cheers to brokenness, cheers to wholeness, cheers to you. :)

Much love,
Future BA.

——

As a postscript: as much as I do not like explaining what I write in my blog I felt the need to explain this one.

I watched Phil and Sarah Kay(e)’s synchronized poem entitled “When Love Arrives” just this evening. In this poem they said that they “knew how love looked like when [they were] in the seventh grade.”

Looking back, I am not sure I really knew what love was back when I was in the seventh grade.

So I asked myself, if I were to talk to my seventh grade self (aka 13 year old self), what could I tell him about love? As an exercise I ended up writing a letter to myself talking about heartbreaks and heartmends.

What if I was actually able to read this letter in the past? What would have changed? Would thirteen year-old BA even listen?

If you were to write to your thirteen year old self, what would you tell him or her?